Friday, November 02, 2007

Another McKinlea story

LOL I just don't get my daughter. She has me full of stories these days. She just got done running to me saying Mommy Easton punched me in the weiner.............LMBO ....... Pls don't tell me I am the only one that thinks that is FRICKIN hilarious

Plus another thing McKinlea has been a very popular girl. When I was there on Thursday I kid you not three little boys were fighting about sitting next to her. She had one on both sides and one in front. One kept grabbing her hand. One kept hugging her. Plus she was in tears again about Noah breaking up with her. It has become a problem I guess that is the thing in her class who is going to be McKinlea's boyfriend. To the point were the teacher is going to be talking to the class We keep telling her that boy friend girl friend is for older people. We ask her what breaking up means and she Say's still be my friend cause that is what Mona (my step mom) told her. I think she thought it meant they didn't want to be her friend. I feel bad cause Mona works at the school as a aid and she gets called in when the water works start. Geesshh this is Kindergarten what will it be like in Jr high and high school

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

13 yrs ago 10/21/1994

Current mood: loved

I married my high school sweetheart.

Who would of though back on October 8th of 1992 when he took me out on that first date to a movie and pizza and he told me we were more than just friends that it would lead to 13 years of marriage. I was 19 and him 20 when we got married. Today for us to be married I think is a great accomplishment. I told him today when we woke up that we have had alot of crap happen in 13 years we def have not had the best of luck. We have fought and we have held eachother up in some of the most darkest hours of our lives. We have gone through 2 miscarriage. 3 pregnancy's One son in the hospital for a month fighting for his life at the age of 7 weeks just to find out he had a hole in his heart. I remeber looking at Kevin at the weakest point in his life it was actually only the 2nd time I seen him cry cry so hard he got a bloody nose. We found out than our baby had a hole in his heart. Not just a small but a moderate to large size hole. We thought at that point we couldn't go through anything more. Than a year and 6 months later I agian watch the man who was strong and held me up sobbing and crying because yet again our oldest child was now fighting for his life at the age of 7 because of a car accident. That was yet another long month in the hospital. This time Kev and I did a lot of fighting with eachother. Yet when it came down to it we knew we were the greatest support for eachother. I remeber when Kevin and I were home after Parkers hospital stay and we were fighting so bad about a lawyer, my mom or somthing like that but it pertained to his accident my dad stopped in and he could tell that we were not getting along and me being the way I am I spilled the whole thing to him. My dad looked at me and said that I had a great man and that Kevin and I have been through things in our life that most people end up divorcing eachother over. Not to let the little things get in the way of what is important. Ya know it is true. We hardly fight over stupid things anymore. We rarely fight. I can honestly say my husband is the greatest man there is. Without God and him I can't say I would of been in this life as long as I have. He has been my backbone and support when I have needed it most. Anyway Just wanted to share I have been married 13yrs!!!!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Oh no tell me it aint so

Current mood: calm

My daughter on Wed was crying so uncontrolably at lunch and lunch recess cause Fritzy broke up with her.....Oh My Good Lord.... she is in stinckin kindergartem. What Mona ( my step mom and works at the shcool as a aid ) said is that she thinks it was like that cause the other kids were like oh lalala over those two playing togethr. When Mona asked her do you know what break up means she was like NOOOOO so mona said honey only big people break up Fritzy just wants to be your friend. Please tell me I don't have my hands full with this one....Oh wait this is the same kids that just a few months ago came out asking me if she was Hot and than a few weeks later asking if she was pretty and a few weeks after that wanting to wear this specific dress to be pretty for Aaron Lord help me with this child........LOL.........

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

My daughter

Current mood: sad

Tonight as I was tucking my daughter in bed she say's to me. "Mommy there is older girls helping at Daisy's" I was like " oh yeah" she proceeds to say " Yeah they are like you cause your fat" :( This is one of my fears. My kids will be embarrassed of me because I am heavy. I tell ya I really feel like my kids don't love me. Expecially McKinlea. She has said things like this before or done things that just make me feel unloved by her. I feel like all she thinks I am here is to be her maid. I feel like that is all I am to be on this earth for is to be the maid. Oh well guess I have to get used to it.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

House pict’s before and afters

Don't mind the mess in the kids area's. It is hard to take pict of the kids room and the living room. Anyway you can see what we are still working on but it is comming along. Looking at the pict myself I can't beleive how different it looks and litterally all it was, was a good scrubbing, paint, and weeding.

http://wendylea75.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album06

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Camping
We just got back from a week of camping. The last three day's it rained and I tell ya after staying in a camper for three day's with a husband and three kids that is enough to pull your hair out. No really it wasn't that bad thank God for 2 tv with DVD players on them, and a ton of movies. Oh yeah can't forget a ton of snacks. Anyway we had a great time the kids did a lot of swimming, they made some great new friends in which Kevin and I have also made some great new friends that we met there. We sat two nights by the campfire drinking and just talking. Than they came back on Friday and had supper with us. They are great people and I really hoping our friendship blossoms to being great friends. Well guys now that I am back to reality and no longer listening to the loons each morning I have to clean my house that I left a mess before I left. Have a GREAT week!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

House Pictures

Sunday we were able to get into the house and take pictures. Pls remeber that this house needs some updating and some TLC. I think it has so much potential. We are closing on the 25th of May. Here is a link to the pictures. There is alot http://wendylea75.myphotoalbum.com/slideshow.php?set_albumName=album04 Notice the stain glass windows, notice it needs painting big time. I am so hoping to strip the paint off all the trim and go back to wood color and same with the blue door. The trim in the dining room we will be changing to. I hate how they painted the leaves on it. Also all the wallpaper is comming down in all the rooms. Upstairs bathroom needs to be finished. The yard needs mowing, and some major cleaning. The add on rooms need to be finished siding and so does the 2nd garage. Anyway remeber it needs some loving all I ask when you look at it is remeber it needs updating.

Monster Jam!!!

Here is a link for you all to go and veiw 419 pictures of Monster Jam and there are like 8 clips to veiw too. Here ya go

My Blog from Nov 30, 2006 from my space


What does it mean to be a parent.....
What does it mean to be the parent
of a child with a heart defect?

It means going into your baby's room a dozen times a night just to check to see if he's still breathing.
It means standing over the crib to watch the chest rise and fall and when you don't see it move, you begin to panic and put your head down close to your baby's face to try and hear him breathe.
It means that when you don't see the chest move and you don't hear him breathing (because your own heart's beating is drowning out any other sound in the room), you put your finger under the baby's nose to feel the air on your finger – until you wake the baby and it stirs – and you're thankful, so thankful that he's still with you.
It means feeling a huge sense of relief when he hears you and opens his eyes and smiles.
It means saying a prayer of thanks for another day.
It means measuring out his medication and panicking if he spits some of it out. How much did he spit out? One cc? Two or three? Then wondering if you should guesstimate how much more he should have and if you'd overmedicate him.
It means checking his nail beds against your own to determine how blue he is today.
It means asking your husband, your mother, or your sister, "Do his lips look blue to you?"
It means snuggling him in an extra blanket for fear he won't be warm enough.
It means worrying that even a sniffle could cause an infection that could harm his heart.
It means taking your baby to the doctor and worrying that he will catch something in the waiting room, so you walk back and forth in the corridor until the nurse calls his name and takes you straight back to the examination room.
It means knowing that everyday is a blessing and a gift.
It means knowing that you are the luckiest person in the world, just to be a parent.
It means cherishing every moment, every breath with such intensity that you feel tears come to your eyes for no apparent reason.
It means praying for a miracle to save your baby's life.
It means praying your marriage is strong enough to endure the hospitalizations, separations, and grief.
It means praying for the will to live, even if your baby doesn't.
It means your own heart knows a pain, no parent should know.
It means feeling weak, helpless, angry, and depressed because your child's fate is out of your hands.
It means feeling strong, determined, and brave because you know you have to be.
It means your love knows new unlimited boundaries.
It means your pride in your child's accomplishments is unparalleled.
It means your pain has taught you a deeper sense of compassion than you ever imagined.
It means we are all united by the same feelings.
It means that we all know the mixed up emotions of dealing with death – but more importantly of living with life.
It means that even though we are strangers, we are more to each other than friends could ever be.
1996, by Anna Jaworski


The Chosen Mothers
THE CHOSEN MOTHERS By Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard." Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world an that's not going to be easy." "But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

After reading this I wonder if I am truly a good chosen mother. Although God does no wrong. I know there are family's out there who are going through way worse than me and I cannot even begin to imagine. All I know is what I have been through has been soooo very very hard.

My blog from Nov 2, 2006 from my space

I am sitting here happy as can be that my son has a repaired heart. Medical assistance approved the procedure after telling us that they were not going to, but yet I am on the verge of tears because we cannot make the car payment, our phone will soon be shut off which means I am going to lose internet and I just don't have the money. We get ahead to get shot back a mile. I feel like we will never suceed in this life. I feel alone and with out friends. The friends I do have I feel as if we are becoming distanced and they have no time for me. I feel like a failure. Than my sweet boy Parker has been told his passion of snowboarding is gone forever. The doc said with the severity of his head trama he just can't take a blow to the head. My son will never be able to snowboard, play football. Do you know how hard it is to see your 8 year old curl up in a ball in a hospital room chair and just start to ball Than you have me as a mom who can't make it better. I don't have the money to get him involved in different routes. He is in cub scouts but I have yet to buy his book. Is it so hard to ask to make the bills, get grocery's and give my kids a treat now and again. Hopefully here in Nov ( hahahah) I can get back on track oh wait yeah than there is Christmas. Well I just heard the microwave chime which means mine and Easton's food is done. Later peeps have a GREAT day!!!!

Here is my Blog from October 30, 2006 from my space

Easton's Surgery/ Parkers apt
Well we headed down on the 25th of October. Ronald McDonald house was not able to accomadate us so we stayed in a hotel. I did not sleep well at all. Got up the next morning headed to the hospital were we got there about a 1/2 hour early got him checked in for his echo. In which we learned that they were going to go ahead with the echo but were going to cancell his procedure. I was like ummm no. They were going to cancell because of our 2nd ins ( medical assistance) was denying the procedure because they were not in network hospital even though this is were his cardiologist wanted him to be. At anyrate I was ticked. I talked to the money people and said look if I came here with just my husbans insurence ( which is his PRIMARY ins) you would not be canceling it. He said you are right and I was like so whats the problem. He was like well we want you to know that you will have a bill. I am like I am aware of that. I know all to well about medical bills. He is like well as long as you are aware of that. I looked at him and said look we drove 5 hours to be here, we also had to take off of work, get a hotel, find babysitters for our other two kids. This just does not involve me and Kevin. He was like ok. Anyway procedure went on. So now tommorrw I am going to call medical assistance and talk to them.

His hole was larger than they thought and he was smaller than they like but with winter comming and the right side of his heart being enlarged they went ahead and did it anyway. There was a 80 % chance it would work. They have done 300 of these procedures and only two going bad. 1 because the doc put in one that was to big and another cause the girl vomited to hard comming to that she popped it out.

He did great his loopy meds made it easy for him to leave without crying and surprising I didn't cry either. He was back there fro 2 hours. His recovery was a little longer cause he was bleeding more than they liked but they got it to stop after a 1/2 hour of pressure. He did AWESOME for having to lay flat for 6 hours afterwards. He watched so much t.v. in that 6 hours. After he could sit up he got out of bed and sat with me and kev on the couch.

The next day at his echo they said his heart had gone down significantly just over night. The thing looks like a hamburger bun on the echo.

We have to give him 1 baby asprin 81mg once a day for 6 months to keep the blood from clotting around the device if he would get clotting on his left side he could have a stroke. He has to take it easy and no wrestling or blow to the chest for a month. In about 6 months the device should be covered in tissue.


This is what one looks like planted. So that is what it looks like on Easton's heart.



Here is picts of our adventure: http://www.ringo.com/photos/album/photo.html?photoId=167716626&albumId=40721399

I hope the pict link works for you. We go back at the end of Nov to get another echo to make sure it is still in place.


Parkers had his apt today at Gillettes today. All went good. He has some weakness on his left side still. Balance is still weaker on his left side. The bouncyness that he had in his foot when he would hit the bottom has gone away which is good. He still tends to curl his fingers when they do this flick type thing to his left fingers. He is still have some remebering issues and some cognitive issues but over all they are very happy. Parker got some sad news today though. He will not be able to snowboard ever in his life. Poor baby cried. I feel sooooooo horrible for him. That is his passion he loved snowboarding and he was a natural. So maybe keep him in yor prayers this week for some comfort on this issue. We go back in 6 months for another check up. Than it will be yearly.

My blog from October 17, 2006 from my space

Info on ASD~ What Easton has
What is an Atrial Septal Defect ?
The two upper chambers of the heart are called the right and left atrium. They are separated by a "wall", called the ATRIAL SEPTUM. Sometimes, this "wall" is not complete. There is a hole in it. This hole is called an Atrial Septal Defect - or ASD, in short. ASD's may be large or small, single or multiple. The heart may be otherwise normal, or there may be other defects too.
What happens when there is an ASD ?
In the normal heart, blood flowing in the right sided chambers (atrium and ventricle) is completely separated from the left sided chambers by the atrial septum. When there is a hole in this "wall", blood from the left atrium flows through the hole into the right side. You might well ask, "Why only from left to right ?". That's because the pressure of blood in the left atrium is higher than in the right, and as you know, any fluid, including blood, will flow from a place with high pressure to one with a lower pressure.
So what is the effect of this ?
The right ventricle (lower chamber) now receives blood from two places. The normal amount of "impure" blood coming from the veins through the right atrium reaches it. In addition, some extra blood comes through the hole in the atrial septum into the right ventricle. So, the ventricle now has to work harder to pump this increased volume of blood into the lungs. And as a result, the lungs also receive a larger blood flow than normal.Too much of a good thing is not good. When the lungs get more than the usual amount of blood, they become "flooded" and stiff. Breathing becomes difficult. When there is a lot of blood in the lungs, it does not flow quickly, and this increases the risk of chest infections. Children with ASD's often catch a "chest cold" - maybe even several times a month.As many years go by, the right ventricle may become weak due to the constant hard work. Then it will "fail" to pump out the blood entering it - a condition called heart failure. Fortunately, in most ASD's, these changes take many years to develop. Many children and young adults with an ASD are not even aware of it until they are 30 or even 40 years old !
Then does that mean an ASD is harmless ?
Well, not quite. As I said before, frequent chest colds occur. If very severe, these may prevent normal growth and development of a child. Also, the lungs receive a large blood volume, and this is harmful after some years. The blood vessels in the lung become hard and thick, and pressure inside them increases. This condition is called PULMONARY HYPERTENSION - "pulmonary" for lung, "hyper" for high, "tension" for blood-pressure - which is a very serious complication. Also, after several years, the ventricle may "fail" - HEART FAILURE. Another serious complication is ARRHYTHMIA - which means an irregularity in the rhythm of the heart. Since it handles a large volume of blood, the right atrium enlarges. This causes a disturbance in the heart's electrical activity, causing it to beat faster - a disease called ATRIAL FIBRILLATION. All of these problems are common in LARGE ASD's.
But what about the little ones - are they safe ?
They are less dangerous than the large ones. But there is one other problem which may occur in both large and small ASD's - PARADOXICAL EMBOLISM.What is paradoxical embolism ? Blood flow in the veins is normally slow and sluggish, and some small clots may form. CLOTS are small pieces of hardened blood. In a normal person, these clots may pass from the veins, through the heart and into the lungs. Here, they are "filtered" and prevented from entering the ARTERIES along with the purified blood. When there is an ASD, however, the clot, on entering the right atrium, may pass across the ASD into the left atrium. Along with the "pure" blood, it can then pass into the arteries, and from here to the brain. In the brain, it may block a blood vessel, preventing blood flow to a part of the brain. This causes a STROKE. A stroke is an injury to the brain. It may cause weakness or paralysis of an arm or leg, or inability to speak or unconsciousness. It can be a very serious problem, sometimes. It's because of this risk of stroke that doctors advise that even small ASD's be closed, by surgery or other methods.
ASD's with other defects.
Some types of ASD have other co-existing defects of the heart. The tubes that carry "pure" blood from the lungs back to the heart - the PULMONARY VEINS - normally connect with the LEFT atrium. In one variety of ASD, these pulmonary veins may connect with the RIGHT atrium - a condition called ANOMALOUS drainage of pulmonary veins (PAPVC, in short). In other types of ASD, the MITRAL VALVE may be abnormal. The wall between the lower chambers of the heart (ventricles) may also have a "hole" - a condition called VENTRICULAR SEPTAL DEFECT. Indeed, any other birth defect of the heart may co-exist with an ASD.
Should an ASD be closed ?
Most doctors would say YES. Recently, a very few cardiologists are questioning the need for ASD closure in some patients, but it is a very uncertain issue. The best way I can put it is, if I had an ASD, I would elect to have it repaired.
When should an ASD be closed ?
Since most children with ASD's are totally without symptoms, it is usual for an ASD to be detected only when the child is examined at school on a routine check-up, or while tests are being done for some other illness. Sometimes, it is detected only in young adulthood.Although there is no urgency, the closure should be done as soon as possible to avoid even the small risk of heart failure or paradoxic embolism. Preferably, operation is avoided in very small children. On the other hand, in some cases, ASD's cause problems very early in life. One such is the OSTIUM PRIMUM type ASD, which usually has other defects - like mitral valve clefts - associated with it. These children may develop heart failure very early in life, and need surgery sometimes even within the first year of life.
How can ASD's be treated ?
Closure of ASD without any treatment is a "medical curiosity". Most need to be closed by doctors.Traditionally, closure by operation has been the method that has stood the test of time. By an open heart operation, the hole in the atrial septum is stitched using a special thread made of a polymer material called PROLENE or POLYPROPYLENE. When the ASD is very large, it may have to be closed with a "patch" of material placed over it and stitched in place. This "patch" may be the patient's own tissue - the covering of the heart called PERICARDIUM is commonly used - or a synthetic material like silk cloth or dacron.When other defects occur in addition, the operation is a little more complex. When the pulmonary veins are opening into the right atrium, they must be re-directed back to the left atrium. When the mitral valve is abnormal, it must be repaired, or in very rare instances, replaced with an artificial valve.
Newer methods of ASD closure
Recently, some alternatives to surgery have emerged. These are experimental", in the sense that their effectiveness in the long run has not been proved. The advantages with these new procedures is that they are less painful, make hospital stay shorter, and avoid a scar of a surgical incision. One of these is TRANS-CATHETER CLOSURE. A catheter is a special thin tube passed into the blood vessels through a small "needle-stick" in the groin or forearm. Through this catheter, a special device similar to an umbrella - called a "clamshell device" - is passed into the heart. The "umbrella" device is pushed across the ASD and opened. The hole is now blocked by the umbrella, which is then fixed in place. Another method makes use of the idea of MINIMALLY INVASIVE HEART SURGERY. Through 3 or 4 small "puncture" holes in the chest, specially designed instruments are passed into the chest and used to repair the ASD.
What are the complications after surgery ?
Surgery for ASD is among the SAFEST operations in cardiac surgery today. There should be NO mortality - but then things aren't always perfect. In most hospitals, however, the mortality risk after an ASD repair is less than ONE PERCENT. Major complications are also uncommon. Rarely, bleeding may be excessive, and blood transfusions are needed. Hospital stay varies in different countries, and in India is around five to seven days.
What about the future ?
An ASD repair is probably one of the few heart operations where we are able to restore a "normal" heart. Most patients lead a perfectly normal life. Usually no medication is required after surgery. Patients can perform almost any physical activity without ill effects.

This is my blog from October 5, 2006 from my space.


A little of this and a little of that.
Well Easton is going in for surgery on Oct 26th. I am now nervous and scared. To top all this off the house we are living in now is still for sale till Oct 14th and than it is off the Market and twice this week it has been showed. I just wish I could buy it myself. I like it and it feels homey. Part of me feels like all is ok and it won't sell before Oct 14th but part of me is like it will and than I will need to find somwere to live once again. Than the fridge we bought kicked the bucket so we are without a fridge for two day's now When is this all going to end when is my life going to get better. WHEN.

This is my blogg from Sept 6, 2006 from my space.

Easton had his cardiologist apt
After a E.K.G and a echocardiogram and 2 hours at the hospital we found out he will be having surgery in probably Nov or Jan. They are sending down all his images and stuff to Milwaukee WI to see if he is a candidate for the catheter type procedure were they go up the vein in his leg. She feels were the position of the hole is he will be BUT it depends on the size if they can do it. It may be to big. If it is to big and the Dr Say's he can't do the cath lab procedure than he will be having open heart. If he can do the cath procedure than we will go to Milwaukee to have it done and we will be staying for a night either in the Ronald McDonald house or the hospital depending on how he does when he wakes form the procedure. If he has to have open heart than it will be in Marshfeild WI the surgeons from Milwaukee will come to marshfeild and we would be there for a couple of days. The right side of his hear is enlarged do to the hole which is bigger than a nickel but smaller than a quarter. So it is a good size hole. They say the age of 2~5 is the best to have it done cause the heart can go back to normal size. If it is done when he is older than the heart would already have permanent damage. He also has to have it done so he will have a longer life being when he is older. If he gets the cath procedure done than the heart will form tissue around the patch. If he has open heart they will either graft skin on it from the heart wall or they will sew it together like you would a hole in clothes. Well I think that is all I hope I explained it well so you can understand. We will know more in a few weeks on what procedure he needs done and probably when it will be done.

~ Wendy

This is my blog from August 29, 2006 at myspace.




August sucks
Yesterday was 10yrs that I had my first miscarraige. I swear August is a doomed month for me and Kevin. Parkers accident was in the month of August and now we are dealing with this house stuff. When do I get a break. I hate feeling this way.
Why is it men think with one head and one head only GRRRRRR I swear Somtimes I think that head should go into hibernation expecially when they wife is having a hard time with life right now. That head is to be used for fun, pleasure and happy times not when you are in termoil. When that head isn't used than the other head get's angry and acts imature and treats the person they are suposse to love like crap. Instead of feeling for the wife who has been crying everyday for almost a week they are more concerned about there pleasure.
I hope you are all having a better life than me these day's.