Monster Jam!!!
Here is a link for you all to go and veiw 419 pictures of Monster Jam and there are like 8 clips to veiw too. Here ya go
We Moved!!!
15 years ago
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
My Blog from Nov 30, 2006 from my space
What does it mean to be a parent.....
What does it mean to be the parent
of a child with a heart defect?
It means going into your baby's room a dozen times a night just to check to see if he's still breathing.
It means standing over the crib to watch the chest rise and fall and when you don't see it move, you begin to panic and put your head down close to your baby's face to try and hear him breathe.
It means that when you don't see the chest move and you don't hear him breathing (because your own heart's beating is drowning out any other sound in the room), you put your finger under the baby's nose to feel the air on your finger – until you wake the baby and it stirs – and you're thankful, so thankful that he's still with you.
It means feeling a huge sense of relief when he hears you and opens his eyes and smiles.
It means saying a prayer of thanks for another day.
It means measuring out his medication and panicking if he spits some of it out. How much did he spit out? One cc? Two or three? Then wondering if you should guesstimate how much more he should have and if you'd overmedicate him.
It means checking his nail beds against your own to determine how blue he is today.
It means asking your husband, your mother, or your sister, "Do his lips look blue to you?"
It means snuggling him in an extra blanket for fear he won't be warm enough.
It means worrying that even a sniffle could cause an infection that could harm his heart.
It means taking your baby to the doctor and worrying that he will catch something in the waiting room, so you walk back and forth in the corridor until the nurse calls his name and takes you straight back to the examination room.
It means knowing that everyday is a blessing and a gift.
It means knowing that you are the luckiest person in the world, just to be a parent.
It means cherishing every moment, every breath with such intensity that you feel tears come to your eyes for no apparent reason.
It means praying for a miracle to save your baby's life.
It means praying your marriage is strong enough to endure the hospitalizations, separations, and grief.
It means praying for the will to live, even if your baby doesn't.
It means your own heart knows a pain, no parent should know.
It means feeling weak, helpless, angry, and depressed because your child's fate is out of your hands.
It means feeling strong, determined, and brave because you know you have to be.
It means your love knows new unlimited boundaries.
It means your pride in your child's accomplishments is unparalleled.
It means your pain has taught you a deeper sense of compassion than you ever imagined.
It means we are all united by the same feelings.
It means that we all know the mixed up emotions of dealing with death – but more importantly of living with life.
It means that even though we are strangers, we are more to each other than friends could ever be.
1996, by Anna Jaworski
The Chosen Mothers
THE CHOSEN MOTHERS By Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard." Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world an that's not going to be easy." "But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
After reading this I wonder if I am truly a good chosen mother. Although God does no wrong. I know there are family's out there who are going through way worse than me and I cannot even begin to imagine. All I know is what I have been through has been soooo very very hard.
What does it mean to be a parent.....
What does it mean to be the parent
of a child with a heart defect?
It means going into your baby's room a dozen times a night just to check to see if he's still breathing.
It means standing over the crib to watch the chest rise and fall and when you don't see it move, you begin to panic and put your head down close to your baby's face to try and hear him breathe.
It means that when you don't see the chest move and you don't hear him breathing (because your own heart's beating is drowning out any other sound in the room), you put your finger under the baby's nose to feel the air on your finger – until you wake the baby and it stirs – and you're thankful, so thankful that he's still with you.
It means feeling a huge sense of relief when he hears you and opens his eyes and smiles.
It means saying a prayer of thanks for another day.
It means measuring out his medication and panicking if he spits some of it out. How much did he spit out? One cc? Two or three? Then wondering if you should guesstimate how much more he should have and if you'd overmedicate him.
It means checking his nail beds against your own to determine how blue he is today.
It means asking your husband, your mother, or your sister, "Do his lips look blue to you?"
It means snuggling him in an extra blanket for fear he won't be warm enough.
It means worrying that even a sniffle could cause an infection that could harm his heart.
It means taking your baby to the doctor and worrying that he will catch something in the waiting room, so you walk back and forth in the corridor until the nurse calls his name and takes you straight back to the examination room.
It means knowing that everyday is a blessing and a gift.
It means knowing that you are the luckiest person in the world, just to be a parent.
It means cherishing every moment, every breath with such intensity that you feel tears come to your eyes for no apparent reason.
It means praying for a miracle to save your baby's life.
It means praying your marriage is strong enough to endure the hospitalizations, separations, and grief.
It means praying for the will to live, even if your baby doesn't.
It means your own heart knows a pain, no parent should know.
It means feeling weak, helpless, angry, and depressed because your child's fate is out of your hands.
It means feeling strong, determined, and brave because you know you have to be.
It means your love knows new unlimited boundaries.
It means your pride in your child's accomplishments is unparalleled.
It means your pain has taught you a deeper sense of compassion than you ever imagined.
It means we are all united by the same feelings.
It means that we all know the mixed up emotions of dealing with death – but more importantly of living with life.
It means that even though we are strangers, we are more to each other than friends could ever be.
1996, by Anna Jaworski
The Chosen Mothers
THE CHOSEN MOTHERS By Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard." Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world an that's not going to be easy." "But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
After reading this I wonder if I am truly a good chosen mother. Although God does no wrong. I know there are family's out there who are going through way worse than me and I cannot even begin to imagine. All I know is what I have been through has been soooo very very hard.
My blog from Nov 2, 2006 from my space
I am sitting here happy as can be that my son has a repaired heart. Medical assistance approved the procedure after telling us that they were not going to, but yet I am on the verge of tears because we cannot make the car payment, our phone will soon be shut off which means I am going to lose internet and I just don't have the money. We get ahead to get shot back a mile. I feel like we will never suceed in this life. I feel alone and with out friends. The friends I do have I feel as if we are becoming distanced and they have no time for me. I feel like a failure. Than my sweet boy Parker has been told his passion of snowboarding is gone forever. The doc said with the severity of his head trama he just can't take a blow to the head. My son will never be able to snowboard, play football. Do you know how hard it is to see your 8 year old curl up in a ball in a hospital room chair and just start to ball Than you have me as a mom who can't make it better. I don't have the money to get him involved in different routes. He is in cub scouts but I have yet to buy his book. Is it so hard to ask to make the bills, get grocery's and give my kids a treat now and again. Hopefully here in Nov ( hahahah) I can get back on track oh wait yeah than there is Christmas. Well I just heard the microwave chime which means mine and Easton's food is done. Later peeps have a GREAT day!!!!
I am sitting here happy as can be that my son has a repaired heart. Medical assistance approved the procedure after telling us that they were not going to, but yet I am on the verge of tears because we cannot make the car payment, our phone will soon be shut off which means I am going to lose internet and I just don't have the money. We get ahead to get shot back a mile. I feel like we will never suceed in this life. I feel alone and with out friends. The friends I do have I feel as if we are becoming distanced and they have no time for me. I feel like a failure. Than my sweet boy Parker has been told his passion of snowboarding is gone forever. The doc said with the severity of his head trama he just can't take a blow to the head. My son will never be able to snowboard, play football. Do you know how hard it is to see your 8 year old curl up in a ball in a hospital room chair and just start to ball Than you have me as a mom who can't make it better. I don't have the money to get him involved in different routes. He is in cub scouts but I have yet to buy his book. Is it so hard to ask to make the bills, get grocery's and give my kids a treat now and again. Hopefully here in Nov ( hahahah) I can get back on track oh wait yeah than there is Christmas. Well I just heard the microwave chime which means mine and Easton's food is done. Later peeps have a GREAT day!!!!
Here is my Blog from October 30, 2006 from my space
Easton's Surgery/ Parkers apt
Well we headed down on the 25th of October. Ronald McDonald house was not able to accomadate us so we stayed in a hotel. I did not sleep well at all. Got up the next morning headed to the hospital were we got there about a 1/2 hour early got him checked in for his echo. In which we learned that they were going to go ahead with the echo but were going to cancell his procedure. I was like ummm no. They were going to cancell because of our 2nd ins ( medical assistance) was denying the procedure because they were not in network hospital even though this is were his cardiologist wanted him to be. At anyrate I was ticked. I talked to the money people and said look if I came here with just my husbans insurence ( which is his PRIMARY ins) you would not be canceling it. He said you are right and I was like so whats the problem. He was like well we want you to know that you will have a bill. I am like I am aware of that. I know all to well about medical bills. He is like well as long as you are aware of that. I looked at him and said look we drove 5 hours to be here, we also had to take off of work, get a hotel, find babysitters for our other two kids. This just does not involve me and Kevin. He was like ok. Anyway procedure went on. So now tommorrw I am going to call medical assistance and talk to them.
His hole was larger than they thought and he was smaller than they like but with winter comming and the right side of his heart being enlarged they went ahead and did it anyway. There was a 80 % chance it would work. They have done 300 of these procedures and only two going bad. 1 because the doc put in one that was to big and another cause the girl vomited to hard comming to that she popped it out.
He did great his loopy meds made it easy for him to leave without crying and surprising I didn't cry either. He was back there fro 2 hours. His recovery was a little longer cause he was bleeding more than they liked but they got it to stop after a 1/2 hour of pressure. He did AWESOME for having to lay flat for 6 hours afterwards. He watched so much t.v. in that 6 hours. After he could sit up he got out of bed and sat with me and kev on the couch.
The next day at his echo they said his heart had gone down significantly just over night. The thing looks like a hamburger bun on the echo.
We have to give him 1 baby asprin 81mg once a day for 6 months to keep the blood from clotting around the device if he would get clotting on his left side he could have a stroke. He has to take it easy and no wrestling or blow to the chest for a month. In about 6 months the device should be covered in tissue.
This is what one looks like planted. So that is what it looks like on Easton's heart.
Here is picts of our adventure: http://www.ringo.com/photos/album/photo.html?photoId=167716626&albumId=40721399
I hope the pict link works for you. We go back at the end of Nov to get another echo to make sure it is still in place.
Parkers had his apt today at Gillettes today. All went good. He has some weakness on his left side still. Balance is still weaker on his left side. The bouncyness that he had in his foot when he would hit the bottom has gone away which is good. He still tends to curl his fingers when they do this flick type thing to his left fingers. He is still have some remebering issues and some cognitive issues but over all they are very happy. Parker got some sad news today though. He will not be able to snowboard ever in his life. Poor baby cried. I feel sooooooo horrible for him. That is his passion he loved snowboarding and he was a natural. So maybe keep him in yor prayers this week for some comfort on this issue. We go back in 6 months for another check up. Than it will be yearly.
Easton's Surgery/ Parkers apt
Well we headed down on the 25th of October. Ronald McDonald house was not able to accomadate us so we stayed in a hotel. I did not sleep well at all. Got up the next morning headed to the hospital were we got there about a 1/2 hour early got him checked in for his echo. In which we learned that they were going to go ahead with the echo but were going to cancell his procedure. I was like ummm no. They were going to cancell because of our 2nd ins ( medical assistance) was denying the procedure because they were not in network hospital even though this is were his cardiologist wanted him to be. At anyrate I was ticked. I talked to the money people and said look if I came here with just my husbans insurence ( which is his PRIMARY ins) you would not be canceling it. He said you are right and I was like so whats the problem. He was like well we want you to know that you will have a bill. I am like I am aware of that. I know all to well about medical bills. He is like well as long as you are aware of that. I looked at him and said look we drove 5 hours to be here, we also had to take off of work, get a hotel, find babysitters for our other two kids. This just does not involve me and Kevin. He was like ok. Anyway procedure went on. So now tommorrw I am going to call medical assistance and talk to them.
His hole was larger than they thought and he was smaller than they like but with winter comming and the right side of his heart being enlarged they went ahead and did it anyway. There was a 80 % chance it would work. They have done 300 of these procedures and only two going bad. 1 because the doc put in one that was to big and another cause the girl vomited to hard comming to that she popped it out.
He did great his loopy meds made it easy for him to leave without crying and surprising I didn't cry either. He was back there fro 2 hours. His recovery was a little longer cause he was bleeding more than they liked but they got it to stop after a 1/2 hour of pressure. He did AWESOME for having to lay flat for 6 hours afterwards. He watched so much t.v. in that 6 hours. After he could sit up he got out of bed and sat with me and kev on the couch.
The next day at his echo they said his heart had gone down significantly just over night. The thing looks like a hamburger bun on the echo.
We have to give him 1 baby asprin 81mg once a day for 6 months to keep the blood from clotting around the device if he would get clotting on his left side he could have a stroke. He has to take it easy and no wrestling or blow to the chest for a month. In about 6 months the device should be covered in tissue.
This is what one looks like planted. So that is what it looks like on Easton's heart.
Here is picts of our adventure: http://www.ringo.com/photos/album/photo.html?photoId=167716626&albumId=40721399
I hope the pict link works for you. We go back at the end of Nov to get another echo to make sure it is still in place.
Parkers had his apt today at Gillettes today. All went good. He has some weakness on his left side still. Balance is still weaker on his left side. The bouncyness that he had in his foot when he would hit the bottom has gone away which is good. He still tends to curl his fingers when they do this flick type thing to his left fingers. He is still have some remebering issues and some cognitive issues but over all they are very happy. Parker got some sad news today though. He will not be able to snowboard ever in his life. Poor baby cried. I feel sooooooo horrible for him. That is his passion he loved snowboarding and he was a natural. So maybe keep him in yor prayers this week for some comfort on this issue. We go back in 6 months for another check up. Than it will be yearly.
My blog from October 17, 2006 from my space
Info on ASD~ What Easton has
What is an Atrial Septal Defect ?
The two upper chambers of the heart are called the right and left atrium. They are separated by a "wall", called the ATRIAL SEPTUM. Sometimes, this "wall" is not complete. There is a hole in it. This hole is called an Atrial Septal Defect - or ASD, in short. ASD's may be large or small, single or multiple. The heart may be otherwise normal, or there may be other defects too.
What happens when there is an ASD ?
In the normal heart, blood flowing in the right sided chambers (atrium and ventricle) is completely separated from the left sided chambers by the atrial septum. When there is a hole in this "wall", blood from the left atrium flows through the hole into the right side. You might well ask, "Why only from left to right ?". That's because the pressure of blood in the left atrium is higher than in the right, and as you know, any fluid, including blood, will flow from a place with high pressure to one with a lower pressure.
So what is the effect of this ?
The right ventricle (lower chamber) now receives blood from two places. The normal amount of "impure" blood coming from the veins through the right atrium reaches it. In addition, some extra blood comes through the hole in the atrial septum into the right ventricle. So, the ventricle now has to work harder to pump this increased volume of blood into the lungs. And as a result, the lungs also receive a larger blood flow than normal.Too much of a good thing is not good. When the lungs get more than the usual amount of blood, they become "flooded" and stiff. Breathing becomes difficult. When there is a lot of blood in the lungs, it does not flow quickly, and this increases the risk of chest infections. Children with ASD's often catch a "chest cold" - maybe even several times a month.As many years go by, the right ventricle may become weak due to the constant hard work. Then it will "fail" to pump out the blood entering it - a condition called heart failure. Fortunately, in most ASD's, these changes take many years to develop. Many children and young adults with an ASD are not even aware of it until they are 30 or even 40 years old !
Then does that mean an ASD is harmless ?
Well, not quite. As I said before, frequent chest colds occur. If very severe, these may prevent normal growth and development of a child. Also, the lungs receive a large blood volume, and this is harmful after some years. The blood vessels in the lung become hard and thick, and pressure inside them increases. This condition is called PULMONARY HYPERTENSION - "pulmonary" for lung, "hyper" for high, "tension" for blood-pressure - which is a very serious complication. Also, after several years, the ventricle may "fail" - HEART FAILURE. Another serious complication is ARRHYTHMIA - which means an irregularity in the rhythm of the heart. Since it handles a large volume of blood, the right atrium enlarges. This causes a disturbance in the heart's electrical activity, causing it to beat faster - a disease called ATRIAL FIBRILLATION. All of these problems are common in LARGE ASD's.
But what about the little ones - are they safe ?
They are less dangerous than the large ones. But there is one other problem which may occur in both large and small ASD's - PARADOXICAL EMBOLISM.What is paradoxical embolism ? Blood flow in the veins is normally slow and sluggish, and some small clots may form. CLOTS are small pieces of hardened blood. In a normal person, these clots may pass from the veins, through the heart and into the lungs. Here, they are "filtered" and prevented from entering the ARTERIES along with the purified blood. When there is an ASD, however, the clot, on entering the right atrium, may pass across the ASD into the left atrium. Along with the "pure" blood, it can then pass into the arteries, and from here to the brain. In the brain, it may block a blood vessel, preventing blood flow to a part of the brain. This causes a STROKE. A stroke is an injury to the brain. It may cause weakness or paralysis of an arm or leg, or inability to speak or unconsciousness. It can be a very serious problem, sometimes. It's because of this risk of stroke that doctors advise that even small ASD's be closed, by surgery or other methods.
ASD's with other defects.
Some types of ASD have other co-existing defects of the heart. The tubes that carry "pure" blood from the lungs back to the heart - the PULMONARY VEINS - normally connect with the LEFT atrium. In one variety of ASD, these pulmonary veins may connect with the RIGHT atrium - a condition called ANOMALOUS drainage of pulmonary veins (PAPVC, in short). In other types of ASD, the MITRAL VALVE may be abnormal. The wall between the lower chambers of the heart (ventricles) may also have a "hole" - a condition called VENTRICULAR SEPTAL DEFECT. Indeed, any other birth defect of the heart may co-exist with an ASD.
Should an ASD be closed ?
Most doctors would say YES. Recently, a very few cardiologists are questioning the need for ASD closure in some patients, but it is a very uncertain issue. The best way I can put it is, if I had an ASD, I would elect to have it repaired.
When should an ASD be closed ?
Since most children with ASD's are totally without symptoms, it is usual for an ASD to be detected only when the child is examined at school on a routine check-up, or while tests are being done for some other illness. Sometimes, it is detected only in young adulthood.Although there is no urgency, the closure should be done as soon as possible to avoid even the small risk of heart failure or paradoxic embolism. Preferably, operation is avoided in very small children. On the other hand, in some cases, ASD's cause problems very early in life. One such is the OSTIUM PRIMUM type ASD, which usually has other defects - like mitral valve clefts - associated with it. These children may develop heart failure very early in life, and need surgery sometimes even within the first year of life.
How can ASD's be treated ?
Closure of ASD without any treatment is a "medical curiosity". Most need to be closed by doctors.Traditionally, closure by operation has been the method that has stood the test of time. By an open heart operation, the hole in the atrial septum is stitched using a special thread made of a polymer material called PROLENE or POLYPROPYLENE. When the ASD is very large, it may have to be closed with a "patch" of material placed over it and stitched in place. This "patch" may be the patient's own tissue - the covering of the heart called PERICARDIUM is commonly used - or a synthetic material like silk cloth or dacron.When other defects occur in addition, the operation is a little more complex. When the pulmonary veins are opening into the right atrium, they must be re-directed back to the left atrium. When the mitral valve is abnormal, it must be repaired, or in very rare instances, replaced with an artificial valve.
Newer methods of ASD closure
Recently, some alternatives to surgery have emerged. These are experimental", in the sense that their effectiveness in the long run has not been proved. The advantages with these new procedures is that they are less painful, make hospital stay shorter, and avoid a scar of a surgical incision. One of these is TRANS-CATHETER CLOSURE. A catheter is a special thin tube passed into the blood vessels through a small "needle-stick" in the groin or forearm. Through this catheter, a special device similar to an umbrella - called a "clamshell device" - is passed into the heart. The "umbrella" device is pushed across the ASD and opened. The hole is now blocked by the umbrella, which is then fixed in place. Another method makes use of the idea of MINIMALLY INVASIVE HEART SURGERY. Through 3 or 4 small "puncture" holes in the chest, specially designed instruments are passed into the chest and used to repair the ASD.
What are the complications after surgery ?
Surgery for ASD is among the SAFEST operations in cardiac surgery today. There should be NO mortality - but then things aren't always perfect. In most hospitals, however, the mortality risk after an ASD repair is less than ONE PERCENT. Major complications are also uncommon. Rarely, bleeding may be excessive, and blood transfusions are needed. Hospital stay varies in different countries, and in India is around five to seven days.
What about the future ?
An ASD repair is probably one of the few heart operations where we are able to restore a "normal" heart. Most patients lead a perfectly normal life. Usually no medication is required after surgery. Patients can perform almost any physical activity without ill effects.
Info on ASD~ What Easton has
What is an Atrial Septal Defect ?
The two upper chambers of the heart are called the right and left atrium. They are separated by a "wall", called the ATRIAL SEPTUM. Sometimes, this "wall" is not complete. There is a hole in it. This hole is called an Atrial Septal Defect - or ASD, in short. ASD's may be large or small, single or multiple. The heart may be otherwise normal, or there may be other defects too.
What happens when there is an ASD ?
In the normal heart, blood flowing in the right sided chambers (atrium and ventricle) is completely separated from the left sided chambers by the atrial septum. When there is a hole in this "wall", blood from the left atrium flows through the hole into the right side. You might well ask, "Why only from left to right ?". That's because the pressure of blood in the left atrium is higher than in the right, and as you know, any fluid, including blood, will flow from a place with high pressure to one with a lower pressure.
So what is the effect of this ?
The right ventricle (lower chamber) now receives blood from two places. The normal amount of "impure" blood coming from the veins through the right atrium reaches it. In addition, some extra blood comes through the hole in the atrial septum into the right ventricle. So, the ventricle now has to work harder to pump this increased volume of blood into the lungs. And as a result, the lungs also receive a larger blood flow than normal.Too much of a good thing is not good. When the lungs get more than the usual amount of blood, they become "flooded" and stiff. Breathing becomes difficult. When there is a lot of blood in the lungs, it does not flow quickly, and this increases the risk of chest infections. Children with ASD's often catch a "chest cold" - maybe even several times a month.As many years go by, the right ventricle may become weak due to the constant hard work. Then it will "fail" to pump out the blood entering it - a condition called heart failure. Fortunately, in most ASD's, these changes take many years to develop. Many children and young adults with an ASD are not even aware of it until they are 30 or even 40 years old !
Then does that mean an ASD is harmless ?
Well, not quite. As I said before, frequent chest colds occur. If very severe, these may prevent normal growth and development of a child. Also, the lungs receive a large blood volume, and this is harmful after some years. The blood vessels in the lung become hard and thick, and pressure inside them increases. This condition is called PULMONARY HYPERTENSION - "pulmonary" for lung, "hyper" for high, "tension" for blood-pressure - which is a very serious complication. Also, after several years, the ventricle may "fail" - HEART FAILURE. Another serious complication is ARRHYTHMIA - which means an irregularity in the rhythm of the heart. Since it handles a large volume of blood, the right atrium enlarges. This causes a disturbance in the heart's electrical activity, causing it to beat faster - a disease called ATRIAL FIBRILLATION. All of these problems are common in LARGE ASD's.
But what about the little ones - are they safe ?
They are less dangerous than the large ones. But there is one other problem which may occur in both large and small ASD's - PARADOXICAL EMBOLISM.What is paradoxical embolism ? Blood flow in the veins is normally slow and sluggish, and some small clots may form. CLOTS are small pieces of hardened blood. In a normal person, these clots may pass from the veins, through the heart and into the lungs. Here, they are "filtered" and prevented from entering the ARTERIES along with the purified blood. When there is an ASD, however, the clot, on entering the right atrium, may pass across the ASD into the left atrium. Along with the "pure" blood, it can then pass into the arteries, and from here to the brain. In the brain, it may block a blood vessel, preventing blood flow to a part of the brain. This causes a STROKE. A stroke is an injury to the brain. It may cause weakness or paralysis of an arm or leg, or inability to speak or unconsciousness. It can be a very serious problem, sometimes. It's because of this risk of stroke that doctors advise that even small ASD's be closed, by surgery or other methods.
ASD's with other defects.
Some types of ASD have other co-existing defects of the heart. The tubes that carry "pure" blood from the lungs back to the heart - the PULMONARY VEINS - normally connect with the LEFT atrium. In one variety of ASD, these pulmonary veins may connect with the RIGHT atrium - a condition called ANOMALOUS drainage of pulmonary veins (PAPVC, in short). In other types of ASD, the MITRAL VALVE may be abnormal. The wall between the lower chambers of the heart (ventricles) may also have a "hole" - a condition called VENTRICULAR SEPTAL DEFECT. Indeed, any other birth defect of the heart may co-exist with an ASD.
Should an ASD be closed ?
Most doctors would say YES. Recently, a very few cardiologists are questioning the need for ASD closure in some patients, but it is a very uncertain issue. The best way I can put it is, if I had an ASD, I would elect to have it repaired.
When should an ASD be closed ?
Since most children with ASD's are totally without symptoms, it is usual for an ASD to be detected only when the child is examined at school on a routine check-up, or while tests are being done for some other illness. Sometimes, it is detected only in young adulthood.Although there is no urgency, the closure should be done as soon as possible to avoid even the small risk of heart failure or paradoxic embolism. Preferably, operation is avoided in very small children. On the other hand, in some cases, ASD's cause problems very early in life. One such is the OSTIUM PRIMUM type ASD, which usually has other defects - like mitral valve clefts - associated with it. These children may develop heart failure very early in life, and need surgery sometimes even within the first year of life.
How can ASD's be treated ?
Closure of ASD without any treatment is a "medical curiosity". Most need to be closed by doctors.Traditionally, closure by operation has been the method that has stood the test of time. By an open heart operation, the hole in the atrial septum is stitched using a special thread made of a polymer material called PROLENE or POLYPROPYLENE. When the ASD is very large, it may have to be closed with a "patch" of material placed over it and stitched in place. This "patch" may be the patient's own tissue - the covering of the heart called PERICARDIUM is commonly used - or a synthetic material like silk cloth or dacron.When other defects occur in addition, the operation is a little more complex. When the pulmonary veins are opening into the right atrium, they must be re-directed back to the left atrium. When the mitral valve is abnormal, it must be repaired, or in very rare instances, replaced with an artificial valve.
Newer methods of ASD closure
Recently, some alternatives to surgery have emerged. These are experimental", in the sense that their effectiveness in the long run has not been proved. The advantages with these new procedures is that they are less painful, make hospital stay shorter, and avoid a scar of a surgical incision. One of these is TRANS-CATHETER CLOSURE. A catheter is a special thin tube passed into the blood vessels through a small "needle-stick" in the groin or forearm. Through this catheter, a special device similar to an umbrella - called a "clamshell device" - is passed into the heart. The "umbrella" device is pushed across the ASD and opened. The hole is now blocked by the umbrella, which is then fixed in place. Another method makes use of the idea of MINIMALLY INVASIVE HEART SURGERY. Through 3 or 4 small "puncture" holes in the chest, specially designed instruments are passed into the chest and used to repair the ASD.
What are the complications after surgery ?
Surgery for ASD is among the SAFEST operations in cardiac surgery today. There should be NO mortality - but then things aren't always perfect. In most hospitals, however, the mortality risk after an ASD repair is less than ONE PERCENT. Major complications are also uncommon. Rarely, bleeding may be excessive, and blood transfusions are needed. Hospital stay varies in different countries, and in India is around five to seven days.
What about the future ?
An ASD repair is probably one of the few heart operations where we are able to restore a "normal" heart. Most patients lead a perfectly normal life. Usually no medication is required after surgery. Patients can perform almost any physical activity without ill effects.
This is my blog from October 5, 2006 from my space.
A little of this and a little of that.
Well Easton is going in for surgery on Oct 26th. I am now nervous and scared. To top all this off the house we are living in now is still for sale till Oct 14th and than it is off the Market and twice this week it has been showed. I just wish I could buy it myself. I like it and it feels homey. Part of me feels like all is ok and it won't sell before Oct 14th but part of me is like it will and than I will need to find somwere to live once again. Than the fridge we bought kicked the bucket so we are without a fridge for two day's now When is this all going to end when is my life going to get better. WHEN.
A little of this and a little of that.
Well Easton is going in for surgery on Oct 26th. I am now nervous and scared. To top all this off the house we are living in now is still for sale till Oct 14th and than it is off the Market and twice this week it has been showed. I just wish I could buy it myself. I like it and it feels homey. Part of me feels like all is ok and it won't sell before Oct 14th but part of me is like it will and than I will need to find somwere to live once again. Than the fridge we bought kicked the bucket so we are without a fridge for two day's now When is this all going to end when is my life going to get better. WHEN.
This is my blogg from Sept 6, 2006 from my space.
Easton had his cardiologist apt
After a E.K.G and a echocardiogram and 2 hours at the hospital we found out he will be having surgery in probably Nov or Jan. They are sending down all his images and stuff to Milwaukee WI to see if he is a candidate for the catheter type procedure were they go up the vein in his leg. She feels were the position of the hole is he will be BUT it depends on the size if they can do it. It may be to big. If it is to big and the Dr Say's he can't do the cath lab procedure than he will be having open heart. If he can do the cath procedure than we will go to Milwaukee to have it done and we will be staying for a night either in the Ronald McDonald house or the hospital depending on how he does when he wakes form the procedure. If he has to have open heart than it will be in Marshfeild WI the surgeons from Milwaukee will come to marshfeild and we would be there for a couple of days. The right side of his hear is enlarged do to the hole which is bigger than a nickel but smaller than a quarter. So it is a good size hole. They say the age of 2~5 is the best to have it done cause the heart can go back to normal size. If it is done when he is older than the heart would already have permanent damage. He also has to have it done so he will have a longer life being when he is older. If he gets the cath procedure done than the heart will form tissue around the patch. If he has open heart they will either graft skin on it from the heart wall or they will sew it together like you would a hole in clothes. Well I think that is all I hope I explained it well so you can understand. We will know more in a few weeks on what procedure he needs done and probably when it will be done.
~ Wendy
Easton had his cardiologist apt
After a E.K.G and a echocardiogram and 2 hours at the hospital we found out he will be having surgery in probably Nov or Jan. They are sending down all his images and stuff to Milwaukee WI to see if he is a candidate for the catheter type procedure were they go up the vein in his leg. She feels were the position of the hole is he will be BUT it depends on the size if they can do it. It may be to big. If it is to big and the Dr Say's he can't do the cath lab procedure than he will be having open heart. If he can do the cath procedure than we will go to Milwaukee to have it done and we will be staying for a night either in the Ronald McDonald house or the hospital depending on how he does when he wakes form the procedure. If he has to have open heart than it will be in Marshfeild WI the surgeons from Milwaukee will come to marshfeild and we would be there for a couple of days. The right side of his hear is enlarged do to the hole which is bigger than a nickel but smaller than a quarter. So it is a good size hole. They say the age of 2~5 is the best to have it done cause the heart can go back to normal size. If it is done when he is older than the heart would already have permanent damage. He also has to have it done so he will have a longer life being when he is older. If he gets the cath procedure done than the heart will form tissue around the patch. If he has open heart they will either graft skin on it from the heart wall or they will sew it together like you would a hole in clothes. Well I think that is all I hope I explained it well so you can understand. We will know more in a few weeks on what procedure he needs done and probably when it will be done.
~ Wendy
This is my blog from August 29, 2006 at myspace.
August sucks
Yesterday was 10yrs that I had my first miscarraige. I swear August is a doomed month for me and Kevin. Parkers accident was in the month of August and now we are dealing with this house stuff. When do I get a break. I hate feeling this way.
Why is it men think with one head and one head only GRRRRRR I swear Somtimes I think that head should go into hibernation expecially when they wife is having a hard time with life right now. That head is to be used for fun, pleasure and happy times not when you are in termoil. When that head isn't used than the other head get's angry and acts imature and treats the person they are suposse to love like crap. Instead of feeling for the wife who has been crying everyday for almost a week they are more concerned about there pleasure.
I hope you are all having a better life than me these day's.
August sucks
Yesterday was 10yrs that I had my first miscarraige. I swear August is a doomed month for me and Kevin. Parkers accident was in the month of August and now we are dealing with this house stuff. When do I get a break. I hate feeling this way.
Why is it men think with one head and one head only GRRRRRR I swear Somtimes I think that head should go into hibernation expecially when they wife is having a hard time with life right now. That head is to be used for fun, pleasure and happy times not when you are in termoil. When that head isn't used than the other head get's angry and acts imature and treats the person they are suposse to love like crap. Instead of feeling for the wife who has been crying everyday for almost a week they are more concerned about there pleasure.
I hope you are all having a better life than me these day's.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Monday, March 13, 2006
Parker rode his bike for the first time since the accident. Talk about my heart pounding on the verge of tears and really trying hard not to be a over bearing mom. Sounds sooo stupid since the kid has rode without training wheels since the summer before kindergarten. One thing they told us he may not be able to ride his bike without training wheels. His balance still is off for his age. OMG it was scary to watch. I kept saying Parker don't go fast. Just slow take it easy blah blah blah he was like I know mom Well he did just fine and great. He was sooooo good about having his helment on at all times. We were not very good about enforcing the helment rule but now we are. We went one weekend and spent 80.00 on helments for all three of them and Parker we are actually going to buy another one to keep in the van. He needs a skatboarding helment verses a bike helment it is stronger and is made for high impact's.
My poor baby girl is running a fever today. She is 102.8 she is just laying around and grunting. I gave her some tylenol and hoping it kicks in soon.
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Sat it was 58 kids were out playing with just sweatshirts/ spring coats riding bikes all of our snow melted. Sunday a little cooler kids were wearing winter coats outside riding bikes and what snow was left melted and Kevin and my brother in law put there gutters up on there house. Than last night early am I guess today it started to rain than it turned to snow and a thunderstorm. It is still snowing hard. We went to no snow on our lawn..lol...guess I should say mud to this:
That yellow house is my sisters.
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Even gotten more than since I took that picture a hour ago. They cancelled school. Don't blame them cuase under all that snow is ice from the rain than getting cold enough to freeze it and turn to snow. When it was thunderstorming it was sleeting you could hear it hitting the windows. Sooo weird.
My poor baby girl is running a fever today. She is 102.8 she is just laying around and grunting. I gave her some tylenol and hoping it kicks in soon.
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Sat it was 58 kids were out playing with just sweatshirts/ spring coats riding bikes all of our snow melted. Sunday a little cooler kids were wearing winter coats outside riding bikes and what snow was left melted and Kevin and my brother in law put there gutters up on there house. Than last night early am I guess today it started to rain than it turned to snow and a thunderstorm. It is still snowing hard. We went to no snow on our lawn..lol...guess I should say mud to this:
That yellow house is my sisters.
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Even gotten more than since I took that picture a hour ago. They cancelled school. Don't blame them cuase under all that snow is ice from the rain than getting cold enough to freeze it and turn to snow. When it was thunderstorming it was sleeting you could hear it hitting the windows. Sooo weird.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Her giggle makes you just laugh with her and her tears make you want to cry too. She will out of the blue say mommy lets pray. She has the biggest heart.
Video Sharing at DropShots.com
Monday, February 13, 2006
When do kids start to get that EWWW that is gross attitude. Easton who is 2yrs old bent down and kissed my toes after I smashed them very hard into the leg of the chair. After he kissed them he looked at me and said "all better"....lol.....
Yesterday we went to town and shopped cell phones. After some hard shopping we ended up gettting a cell phone plan with T~Mobile. I don't think it is all that bad. It is 69.99 a month for 1,000 shared min. We got 2 phones well 3 cause my sis and brother in law are sharing the plan with us. Unlimited mobile to mobile. No roaming, no long distance, unlimited nights ( after 9) and weekends. This was the best deal we could find cause we can add 2 more phones yet if we want.
We also went and got Parker his helment. We got a skateboarding one because they are the best and safest for Parker. With his TBI his melon will be protected. We also got the two little ones helments last night too. HOLY COW we spent 80.00 in helments. They were so funny after we got home they all walked around the house wearing there helments. Parkers is yellow vigor helment and Kinners is a pink pretty pony one and Easty's is primary colors with dogs on it or I thik it is dogs.
Well I am STARVING. We had Famous Daves on Sat night for supper and now I am craving beef brisket and ribs. OMG I am hungry. I do have some left over chicken from there I think I may have that for lunch. For Supper I am going to make meat loaf with backed potatoes.
Yesterday we went to town and shopped cell phones. After some hard shopping we ended up gettting a cell phone plan with T~Mobile. I don't think it is all that bad. It is 69.99 a month for 1,000 shared min. We got 2 phones well 3 cause my sis and brother in law are sharing the plan with us. Unlimited mobile to mobile. No roaming, no long distance, unlimited nights ( after 9) and weekends. This was the best deal we could find cause we can add 2 more phones yet if we want.
We also went and got Parker his helment. We got a skateboarding one because they are the best and safest for Parker. With his TBI his melon will be protected. We also got the two little ones helments last night too. HOLY COW we spent 80.00 in helments. They were so funny after we got home they all walked around the house wearing there helments. Parkers is yellow vigor helment and Kinners is a pink pretty pony one and Easty's is primary colors with dogs on it or I thik it is dogs.
Well I am STARVING. We had Famous Daves on Sat night for supper and now I am craving beef brisket and ribs. OMG I am hungry. I do have some left over chicken from there I think I may have that for lunch. For Supper I am going to make meat loaf with backed potatoes.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Gutters ugh so expensive. 1400 to do gutters on this house. We can get it down to 1200 if we don't do the north side of the garage. Now that is seamless gutters which is what Kevin wants to do. I on the other hand want to just put on gutters this year that are inexpensive and in 5 years replace them with seamless. I could just cry. We do not have that kind of money and they need to be put on because our roof pitch is soo steep and the deck gets so nasty icy when it gets cold. Plus the basement is getting water in it do to the fact that the back needs more dirt which don't ask were that is comming from. Gutters will help alot. Thanks to my mom we lost our savings so we had to use other money to pay the utilities this year when we could of used that to pay for gutters and a deck. Now I have to wonder were the money will come from for gutters and we can forget the deck this year. Maybe the estimate we have comming on Monday will be cheaper. Praying it will.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Parker had parent teacher conferences last week. He is doing well. He is behind on reading and math but we knew that but he is progressing. His teacher told Mona nad than also told me that she has taught many years and has never had a child as poliet as Parker. She said please and thankyou comes out of his mouth so much in one day it is so refresshing. His LD teacher also told us that when she is having a bad day her day gets better the minute Parker walks into her room cause he always has a smile on his face. Even when he had that big halo on he would come in smiling. She said he has been through so much for someone his age and he has a smile all the time. It just makes her bad days better. She shared with us that they were working on words and he got the word worried. They had to use it in a sent and his sent was I was worried when they took my halo off. He never told us he was never acted like he was and I evne asked him and he said he wasnt and he was doing good. What a strong boy I have. I can't help but stare at him and just melt. His other word was happy and his sent was I am happy when I get to go to Gillette's ( his hospital) His aid also said that she calls him sparkles cause everytime he talks his eye's sparkle. She also said for someone who has gone and going through what he did and does he doesn't feel sorry for himself and just is happy as can be. I thought I would share his parent teacher conference with you. I can't sit and brag about how he excels in class cause he doesn't he is behind but I can brag about how well he does socially and emotionally and how he is only 7 years old and he has touched so many people and how so many adults have learned a little from my little man. I am so proud of him.
Ever have those day's were you feel lonely and nothing to do when in all reality there is a ton to do. Like laundry, dishes, bathrooms to clean, floors to vacuum and floors to mop. Today is one of those day's for me. My phone is not ringing off the hook because last Friday I paid all of our past do bills. Funny thing is it was only about 3,200 that was haunting us. Of course that isn't our house payment or our car payment those were bills that have been past due since before McKinlea. Only past due bills we have now are medical. It is great feeling but yet sad. Sad because that was a lot of money that we forked out alot was do to late and over the limit fee's. Sad because we could of used that money to do a deck, or go on vacation. Oh well what is another year. Next year we will hopfully be able to build a deck and go on vacation, but in a weird way it is so quiet here. Weird how you get used to somthing and than when it is gone good or bad it feels weird. I am so happy to have those bill's paid.
As of Feb 14th if all goes like it should Kevin and I will truly be home owners!!!! We will no longer be in our land contract anymore and this house will soley be ours!!!!!
As of Feb 14th if all goes like it should Kevin and I will truly be home owners!!!! We will no longer be in our land contract anymore and this house will soley be ours!!!!!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Ok so yesterday I shared house pictures of my house. Kev and I are in a land contract and hopefully in a month this house will be sole ours. Kevin and I have cc debt that we should of never did and we have a car payment and now this house payment which is OUTRAGES. We knew things were going to be extra tight and we planned for that last year at tax time I put money in our saving to pay for utility bills. When Parker got in his accident we used our savings to make the first house payment cause we moved in 2 weeks to the day before his accident. Plus Kevin was driving from Eau Claire to St. Paul almost 2 hours back and forth to work. I was not going to make him stay home he felt he needed to come to the hospital everyday to be with his son who can deny that. Anyway it was all around the time of the hurricane and gas here was 3.20 a gallon. Well we have a 1992 Astro van and I bet you can imagine what we went through in gas. Plus I was eating 1 meal a day at the hospital. Which hospital food at least at Gillette children's was not cheap. Plus I paid some bills out of that savings but it is gone our utility money is gone. The house payment takes all of kevs checks for the month. He only makes 13.60 a hour. He made 31,249.52 for the year this last year. So anyway I posted pictures and at one of my sites this lady post this:
Please don't take this the wrong way but for someone that complains about money all the time-you'd never know you struggle w/ it. The place is amazing. Nicer than what we have and (she put her hubbies name here I took it out to be fair to her) makes over $500k a year.
I'm jealous. Again, please don't take it the wrong way...I'm totally envious and I LOVE the photos on the wall in b&w! Kids rooms..All of it is amazing. :)
I am sorry but I am hurt angry by that. Maybe I shouldn't take it that way but I am. Kev works hard to provide for this family. Honestly I don't complain all the time. This comes from a girl who spends 100.00 a pop on face cream like 2oz. She is a girl that went and spent 2,000 on what she calls a push present cause she just had a baby 4 months ago so she bought herself a ring. I am sorry I had 3 kids all natural no drugs what so ever and my kids were 8#7oz, 9#11oz and 9#3oz and I got roses when my daughter was born from the hubby but I never got a frickin push present. Plus I only have 3 pair of jeans and 11 shirst. Shoot I have two bras that is it and I have had them since McKinlea was 8 months old and she is going to be 4 soon. Lets talk about underwear yeah my oldest will soon be 8 and I still am wearing underwear from when I was pregnant from him. My tennis are going on 3 years old. I have not had a hair cut in over a year. I bye 2.00 hair color to try to make me feel a little better. I don't wear makeup during most of the week to save on it and CRAP perfume I have a bottle of unbound that is over a year old now cause I SAVE it for church and special things my in laws bought me that. Most of my furniture is hand me downs from my dad and the decorations I have I have had for 11 years. My pottery in my kitchen I had home and garden party's to EARN that stuff for free by the sales at my party plus my sis sold it for awhile and she would get it at her cost for me so I get earn more. I shope thrift stores, auctions and thrift sales. My kids wear generic diapers. My daughter wears boy clothes from my son and hand me downs from my twin nieces. We buy generic food. Sometimes when we don't have enough food the kids eat eggs and cereal cause I get WIC. GRRRRRR I am SO angry I cried myself to sleep last night cause of it. Kevin works 2 nights a week plus his day job. YES I can go to work but what Kev brings home working two nights a week is more than me working 5 nights a week. Plus she has never had to go through what I have. COME ON I almost lost both my sons. How many parents have had to live at a hospital for a month watching there child on life support not knowing if they are going to make it. Looking at your child with tubes and machines hanging out of every inch of there body. Watching there child swell up and not look like them. Seeing the stiches the bruises knowing they are hurting and you can't do anything about it. Being so scared that you get sick to your stomach and almost passout. Feeling alone sitting by your child's bed wishing it was you instead. How about now you don't even want to send them to school or let them stay at a friends house. Watching your child look out the window at the kids sledding and they can't go. Listen to them say I am better now mama and crying and being angry at you. AGHHHHHHHH I better stop cause I am now crying again. All I can say why is it people like that are so cruel. I would NEVER do that no matter how much money I had. God provides you with what you need and God has been good to us. He has spared my son's lives. This house was suppose to be a new start to life a new begging to get our finaces on track. I was so excited to show my house and than I got shot down now I wish I would of never showed them. One day I will have fun happy post one day.
Please don't take this the wrong way but for someone that complains about money all the time-you'd never know you struggle w/ it. The place is amazing. Nicer than what we have and (she put her hubbies name here I took it out to be fair to her) makes over $500k a year.
I'm jealous. Again, please don't take it the wrong way...I'm totally envious and I LOVE the photos on the wall in b&w! Kids rooms..All of it is amazing. :)
I am sorry but I am hurt angry by that. Maybe I shouldn't take it that way but I am. Kev works hard to provide for this family. Honestly I don't complain all the time. This comes from a girl who spends 100.00 a pop on face cream like 2oz. She is a girl that went and spent 2,000 on what she calls a push present cause she just had a baby 4 months ago so she bought herself a ring. I am sorry I had 3 kids all natural no drugs what so ever and my kids were 8#7oz, 9#11oz and 9#3oz and I got roses when my daughter was born from the hubby but I never got a frickin push present. Plus I only have 3 pair of jeans and 11 shirst. Shoot I have two bras that is it and I have had them since McKinlea was 8 months old and she is going to be 4 soon. Lets talk about underwear yeah my oldest will soon be 8 and I still am wearing underwear from when I was pregnant from him. My tennis are going on 3 years old. I have not had a hair cut in over a year. I bye 2.00 hair color to try to make me feel a little better. I don't wear makeup during most of the week to save on it and CRAP perfume I have a bottle of unbound that is over a year old now cause I SAVE it for church and special things my in laws bought me that. Most of my furniture is hand me downs from my dad and the decorations I have I have had for 11 years. My pottery in my kitchen I had home and garden party's to EARN that stuff for free by the sales at my party plus my sis sold it for awhile and she would get it at her cost for me so I get earn more. I shope thrift stores, auctions and thrift sales. My kids wear generic diapers. My daughter wears boy clothes from my son and hand me downs from my twin nieces. We buy generic food. Sometimes when we don't have enough food the kids eat eggs and cereal cause I get WIC. GRRRRRR I am SO angry I cried myself to sleep last night cause of it. Kevin works 2 nights a week plus his day job. YES I can go to work but what Kev brings home working two nights a week is more than me working 5 nights a week. Plus she has never had to go through what I have. COME ON I almost lost both my sons. How many parents have had to live at a hospital for a month watching there child on life support not knowing if they are going to make it. Looking at your child with tubes and machines hanging out of every inch of there body. Watching there child swell up and not look like them. Seeing the stiches the bruises knowing they are hurting and you can't do anything about it. Being so scared that you get sick to your stomach and almost passout. Feeling alone sitting by your child's bed wishing it was you instead. How about now you don't even want to send them to school or let them stay at a friends house. Watching your child look out the window at the kids sledding and they can't go. Listen to them say I am better now mama and crying and being angry at you. AGHHHHHHHH I better stop cause I am now crying again. All I can say why is it people like that are so cruel. I would NEVER do that no matter how much money I had. God provides you with what you need and God has been good to us. He has spared my son's lives. This house was suppose to be a new start to life a new begging to get our finaces on track. I was so excited to show my house and than I got shot down now I wish I would of never showed them. One day I will have fun happy post one day.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
I really don't know how to do these blog's. My words seem so sad and not interesting to anybody. I read other blogs that are so witty and fun and those people seem so happy. So today I am here to pray. Lord you know what is on my heart you know I am scared to pray outloud I don't know how to pray. I pray you give me the strength this year to work on that and become closer to you. I am also here praying for the house I just got off the phone to have this house put in our name solely and this we really need. You know we need this. I am so scared that if we don't get this we will be so far in muck of finacially isuues. I really feel that this will help us get on track. Getting our taxes back will help us get our finacial issues together. My plan is to get those cc paid off either with taxes or with Kevin's bus co. check. I am asking you to pls work your hands in this pls let this happen. I also pray that you work your hands on me this year to be a happier person not so sad and not so lonely. I ask for your help to make me not so short with the kids. In your name I pray.
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